Expect lots of shit about cats.
1452 Tweets 2289 Followers 818 Followings
My dentist - “I like your hair. Would you think I was crazy if I had blue hair?” Told him clearly not since my hair is blue. Then he goes, “Yeah, but I’m a professional.” Ummm, fuck you Dentist.
1w / 0 Retweets / 12 Likes
Cooking shows need to be more responsible. My mother made french toast out of a tube of fucking cinnamon buns and cream cheese this weekend. You're literally killing us with these fucking recipes.
7w / 0 Retweets / 11 Likes
Today in a coffee shop, I watched a man ask his wife if he could order a sandwich and she shot him down with "that's a waste of resources!"
10w / 0 Retweets / 13 Likes
This is my horse. Trot bitch, trot! https://t.co/D1qbHaeor7
13w / 0 Retweets / 1 Likes
Reductress is the best. https://t.co/eIMkJKGd7P
13w / 0 Retweets / 10 Likes
I love Pumpkin Spice Lattes, but if you ice that shit, you’re a puke person.
15w / 0 Retweets / 8 Likes